Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
