Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
they need to just BURY HIM!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I am full of burrito and curiosity
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
