I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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