I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
what the fuck happened to the tacos
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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