I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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