respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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