How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
