Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
