Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
