This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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