You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
