whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
