Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
