we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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