He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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