You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
