I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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