she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
