I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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