If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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