I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize