Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize