I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
