Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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