this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It was confusing and full of hummus
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
