My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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