i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
