No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
