Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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