no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
