Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
