like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize