Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
