You smell like stripper and shame
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
