I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
