She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
