Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it hurts more in the daytime
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
