A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
