wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
