We're like a lot better than the average bears
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize