I'm drive I can fine osifer
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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