and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
