This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
