how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
