The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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