you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
