i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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