i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize