Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
