Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
