am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
