im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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