Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
