this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
