I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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