I'm really into asian looking animals
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
