the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
