Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
We smell like vodka and hangover
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
