Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize