just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
