Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize